I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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