My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
