Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
