We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
