he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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