Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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