Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
