you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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