People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
