He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
