oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
