i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
