btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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