Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize