I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Bang-toberfest begins!!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
