let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
