i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
