Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
