i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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