Its about making memories worth repressing
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
