Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
