I faked an abortion last night.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
did i walk over a car last night?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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