Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize