My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
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How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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