The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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