I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
