What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
