he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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