I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
