i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
