i just snorted my name. best moment ever
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
