me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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