i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
