He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
