I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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