How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
