i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
