My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize