i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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