I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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