you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
