So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
