She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize