Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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