And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
