I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
