I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
