Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
