Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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