You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize