I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
