It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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