he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize