I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
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walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
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Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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