She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You ate ashes out of my bong
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
