I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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