I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
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is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
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You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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