I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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